April, 2023
Beloved,
How are you doing with self-examination during this Lenten season? Daylight saving is now behind us; the Spring equinox is only a week away at the time of this writing. While witnessing the signs of Spring all around, I am covered in a heavy jacket keeping me from the harsh cold breeze and the gray sky. As I find myself in-between seasons, times, and places, I impatiently long for a vibrant clarity that will give me some assurance and hope in life. It is a frustrating state of mind to be in because nothing seems to help get me out of this mood. I trust that God is with me, watching me endure this torment. I want to tell him, “just get me out of this state of mind!”
Whenever I am in this kind of mood, I remember a remark from the late Dr. Gregory West, a friend and alumni of the EfM. “Israel means ‘one who struggles with God.’.” With my eyes closed, I could hear it said in his voice, just like he was sitting across the table. C.S. Lewis described it similarly with his usual wit, “I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.”
While we often mistake our Christian salvation for some adrenaline rush similar to the sensation we get at a concert, it leads us to another spiritual wilderness full of challenges and wonders. It makes us further struggle with our stubborn minds that keep wanting to contain God in our little treasure box. Unfortunately, salvation is not a happy-clappy deal. Instead, we rejoice. We rejoice in God’s abundance, which puts our worry about brokenness to rest. With God’s help, we then focus on learning how to love better, pray to God with no pretense, and serve God’s people with humility and compassion.
We rejoice in God’s abundant love by sharing our broken and vulnerable selves. In John 15, Jesus says, “there is no greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Jesus did that for us not because we deserved it but because that is how God is! Not only did God create us, but he also loved us. So instead of worrying ourselves to death about our brokenness, from which Jesus set us free, we rejoice in life while we have here on earth by trying to love one another as Christ loved us. The Holy Spirit that works in our attempts to love surpasses our earthly happiness and cheap comfort. Such love is incredibly demanding, uncomfortable, and tormenting; it is what Israel means. We embrace the fear of the spiritual wilderness this way as we gather in Jesus’ name and ride on the Holy rollercoaster. It’s a well-worth ride! Holy Week and Easter are right around the corner, so buckle up your seatbelt. It’s going to be a bumpy ride!
Luke 2:29-32 Nunc Dimittus
Lord, you now have set your servant free *
to go in peace as you have promised;
For these eyes of mine have seen the Savior, *
whom you have prepared for all the world to see:
A Light to enlighten the nations, *
and the glory of your people Israel.
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: *
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.
Love In Christ,
Fr. Andrew
